Wednesday, 7 January 2015

The Start of Something Called "Happiness"

Hi, it's been a while since I last updated my page. So, everything is okay now, I am still alive (somehow), and have been trying to keep myself busy. Busy of what, you say? Busy of things that is not important but is crucial in my life. What would that be?

Yeah, so now I'm no longer single. Hahahhaa, bet you are not that surprised despite the fact that only February (or was it last January) that I made myself clear with my ex. Yeah, I still hate him for being the least gentleman I've ever met. He said happy birthday to me though... through Blackberry. HA! That was the first time ever he talked to me since we broke up. But anyway, that was an old story, as fast as it came, it disappeared just the same..

And, back to the main story, so I am going out with this guy... Hahahha, he was my senior back in junior high school. Just call him V, Mr. V.. So this Mr. V was trying to get close to my sister first, yes, I was there, I saw how he tried to get close to my sister. But somewhere along the way, he didn't quite get my sister's signal. Almost everytime they went out, my sister would be busy with her gadget, and so with Mr. V. He didn't really get the connection with my sister, he also tried to get close to some girls along the way but then I told him to not do it coz if he is really looking for the one, he should be consistent with the one he like. So, he followed what I told him to do and tried his best to keep it steady. During those times, we occasionally go out together and I still mark him as "my sister's future bf". Within times, he barely go out with my sister, and she ended up with someone else.. My sister admits that she was close with a few guys and decided to place her heart in a guy she chose, that choice was not Mr. V. Mr. V was not devastated, he said that my sister was never there to try to like him from the first place, so he was okay with it.

Not before long, I ended up going out with him several times, I was single and he needed a friend to go out and go to places, so yeah, we went out and still remain as friends.
My sister smell something fishy back then and said to not fall in love with him coz it'll make things go weird, a man who used to be with her ended up with her sister. I said I understand and try to keep my distance so things won't go weird with my sister. But then again, I thought, what would be weird? Yes, he was trying to get close with my sister, but did they go out as a couple? No. Did Mr.V hurt her heart? No. Why? Because she was close with lots of male friends too during the times they were close, so... I think the one who gut hurt here is... noone. So, I said to her that I will try, but I can't promise coz I was felt so comfortable with him, we talked a lot, laugh a lot and give suggestions to each other.

But still, I consider him as a friend, I don't want to hurt anyone and importantly, I didn't want to snatch someone's without permission and I don't want to have a sided love., a position where only one love the other while the other doesn't. Especially with my friend.. an experience of being hurt by a ex-boyfriend-ex-friend thing..

Yeah, so the time goes by, I was doing great with my life, and he was there, he accompany me as a friend and there's this one time where he said that he was trying to be close with certain someone, that someone is always there and always able to keep him out of trouble, and that someone is me.
I was dumbfounded, I remember it was dark, we were on our way home from some place and I was laughing awkwardly, telling him to stop joking and also told him, that I might be the one who told him to keep it steady but that doesn't mean that I am telling him to fall in love with me.

He told me eye-to-eye that he loved me and that he understand my condition, and that he will wait. He will wait until I can make my heart steady and filled with his love. Coz to be honest, I don't want a past experience happened to me.. again. Truth be told, I prefer to not have a boyfriend rather than losing a friend. And seeing how he can prove himself to stay with me, I really don't want to lose this one special friend. He's just too irreplaceable. But then something in my heart changed, from being scared, to be in love, to be comfortable with his presence and then steadily fell in love with every bit of his.

Two rejections and he keep standing tall, he proved himself to be one of the best friend I've ever had and that one night, when he were driving me home and the moon was up above us, he asked me that question, "will you be my girlfriend?"
I said "yes.."
He stopped, he laughed awkwardly and said "Oh, really? Oh, well, that's settled then.. What date is it now?"
And then we laughed together, chuckling under the stars above. Despite being rejected twice, he was not expecting me to say yes, apparently. He was ready to be rejected, again, and was very happy when I suddenly said yes.

He realizes my past and convinced me to be happy together, I asked him to not make me cry, ever, and he asked me to believe in him. From that moment on, I gave my heart, little by little to him, a fragile heart, really.. And I never expected it to be as strong as it is now.
It turned out to be the start of something so beautiful and unexpectedly, a start of happiness..

So, here we are, on the 545 days being together and we are preparing ourselves for the sweetest moment of our life. I once thought how can people take on journey with their beloved ones, go to different countries with their beloved ones, and even smile so wildly showing their happiness. Just when I'm with him, I can think that happiness do exists. I never thought that the right guy is just a friend away. Until the day he proposes, everything seems so clear and filled with smiles all around. I forgot how many times we laugh together, moments when we lose together, moments when we feel something together, all of that because those times feel so real, with him by my side.

So, counting onto that special day, here I am, typing from the office, feeling super lucky to have just won a free trip to Japan, which I'm going to spend with Mr. V and wishing a super happiness from the starting of the year til the end of 2015. Wishing to spend every last bit of myself with Mr. V and wishing the successful party of our wedding day.

Ahh.. wedding day.. I think I have to make another post about my trip to Japan and how I feel about wedding. Coz that will be another story of happiness that I'll have to wrap up in my blog.

Until then, guys.. Ciao~

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